This is going to be one of my more informal blog posts as I prepare to graduate and reflect on my time at Uni. I want to connect a lesson I've learned to Benji's ideology of "the other boy," based off the prompt we received earlier this quarter.
I think that Benji tries to separate himself so much from the younger version of himself because he's reminded of the time that him and his brother were neglected. I also think that some part of him might feel like a failure because he was trying so hard at the time to protect him and his brother from going shooting in the first place. But then his brother found a way around it and that'a how the whole mess started. All resulting in Benji getting hurt. This is an interesting aspect to explore but I really want to focus on why he tries so hard and yet fails to separate himself. I think the reason why Benji can't truly separate himself from the younger version of him is because he quite literally still has a part of that person in him. But I think it serves as a great metaphor for growing up.
Sometimes we mix growing up and becoming a completely different person. While people do change a lot, that same child-like person is always going to be with you. All the experiences and memories you hold are still within you, even if you try to separate yourself from it.
I agree that Benji works hard to let the reader know he no longers views the person he was when he was younger to who he is now. I think this is a feeling many people can relate to, as a result of embarrassment from previous actions. By trying to separate himself from his younger self he is making it clear that he is embarrassed by and ashamed of decisions he made. I think this shows an important step of the coming of age process. The realizations of previous mistakes shows a shift in mindset and growth from your younger self.
ReplyDeleteThat is interesting to think about. I don't feel like the same person I once was. I haven't tried to separate myself from "him", but I don't remember what it was like to be him as well. I kind of envy my childhood self for having less to worry about, but I know that back then I would have given anything to be who I am today.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you say, in that each of us still has that younger self in us. I mean we are who we are because of the choices that younger person made. However, I often wonder if given that chance if I would make different choices than what my younger self made. I wonder if I did choose to make different choices if that would be because I am a different person now, or because I know that consequences of the actions I did chose.
ReplyDeleteI think that's very true, as unfortunate as it may be in some cases. In fact, there are definitely people who in fact have more child than change in them... However, in moderation, I think always keeping the playful, innocent, childlike part of yourself is important, and will make you much more pleasant person to be around.
ReplyDeleteThat's extremly interesting. We see some similar aspects in Fun Home, when Alison is so caught up in the subjectivity of the present that she labels it that way obsessively as if waiting for some future insight to correct her perception. I did something similar when I was younger, and often directly addressed future me. So yeah I'm not completely sure what to make of that but I think it's interesting that we try to appeal to or address past and future versions of ourselves like that, especially in writing.
ReplyDeleteSome people might want to completely separate themselves from their youth and innocence, claiming they were stupid and naive. I think Ben sees it in a developmental way, in the sense that his past experiences shaped him to be who he is. The BB fragment in his eye serves as a reminder of his coming of age imbedded in his memory and himself. It's interesting to think that all of our actions when we were younger led up to our present-day selves, and I think Benji is reminiscing about that in this book.
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